Almost everyone at one time or another has been caught in the spot light of a social embarrassment. Maybe it's a slip of the tongue at an important event or a "fashion disaster", an old pair of pants that you hadn't worn in years and suddenly in the middle of an important business function your are reminded why,...the 3" tear in the seat of your pants that has been noticed by a caring friend! At times like these we can only think one thought "please God don't let anyone else find out and don't let anyone else see".
As a Believer I go through similar periods of "fear", the fear that those I care about and respect will find out the truth, that I have sinned and fallen so short. The fear that in the midst of my life my past will come flying forward like a "You Tube video" for everyone to see. The fact is that sometimes it is the hardest to live as a Believer to those that know us the best because we are afraid that they will pull out their ruler and mental pictures of our past and inform us of exactly just how far we have fallen short.
For years I have had a friend who has lived with the a father who is a devout Catholic and a mother who is a Pentecostal Christian always feeling like if he sided with one he would turn his back on the other or at least that was my perception. Over the years I had sensed a bit of hostility about the entire subject, so I never, ever entered into that discussion. In addition, he knew my strengths and weaknesses and I was always fearful that if I shared my faith he would say "you, but you did this and you thought this" so I kept quiet. Your right I had put my God in a box, a very small box!
Just over two years ago my friend developed cancer, terminal cancer and recently it has been weighing heavy on my heart that I had missed so many opportunities to share my faith with him, to give him a chance for peace and a love that is unequaled by any human. To get him the invitation to the party reserved for him in heaven if he would only choose to believe. I wrote him an e-mail from the depths of my heart revealing all that was so secret to me and how God had redeemed me and loved me in spite of who I had been. I told my friend who has been so courageous how much my friendship with him had changed me for the better, for the example of love and respect that he practices on a daily basis. He is one of the kindest and most un-selfish people I have ever had the privileged to know. He responded in kind, no ruler, no instant replay of my failures just love and admiration for our friendship and an opportunity to share more.
Last night he invited Juli and me over and we had a chance to share, to talk about life and death, to laugh together and to cry but most importantly to pray together (we also shared a sermon "Creating a Life of Love" but that is a separate story) . The past few months have taught me so many important lessons but none more important than to understand that we have a new life in Christ and that the only failure we need to worry about is the failure to share the hope and promise that lies with in us. God's grace is sufficient for all of our needs and if we truly believe then we must be ready to share the message of the cross. Not only with those that randomly cross our paths but with those that know us the best that we live side by side with on a daily basis! To me that is the best test of faith, can you live it and share it with those that know you the best?
It's only a start, but I can see God at work in my friend's life and I pray that he comes to peace with "who God is" and what he offers us through the message of the cross! Once again I have been humbled by how God works in our lives and how he challenges us to grow.
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