Blinding Snow, Runaway Horses and 15 Years

Sunday morning was a bit surreal, the snow had fallen throughout the night leaving a blanket of powder across the state.  As we drove to church we were traveled down one of our short cuts through the woods which was as beautiful a scene as I have ever seen photographed or painted about Vermont. It provided a dramatic contrast to the 85 degree weather and sunshine of our past two weeks.  It was impossible not to think of my Dad who never saw a new snow fall as a bad thing, he always said it was God's way of showing us that our past could be covered up with God's forgiveness if would only accept the new start that life in Christ could provide.

It was 15 years ago today that Dad died in Vermont while visiting for Christmas.  For 10 years Dad had fought his cancer but on January 3rd with his entire family present in the last days Dad's fight was over.

As we pulled into the parking lot of church we were amazed to see not a single vehicle, because the volunteers could not get there to shovel and plow the lots, church had a "snow day".  We quickly made a u-turn and headed to our old church where we had held the funeral services for Dad.  It seemed a bit ironic that the 15th anniversary of my Dad's death would fall on his favorite day, Sunday.  As we were walking up the steps of the church we noticed two horses running down the road as the snow was falling.  It was, as if, at first glimpse that they were pulling a sleigh but it quickly became apparent that they were "free" just trotting down the road then they crossed over into the village green named for Snowflake Bentley a Vermonter, the first to photograph a "snow flake".

There is a quietness to the falling snow that is unlike any other. There is little doubt in my mind that the more man attempts to control life the more obvious it is that he has no control.  Like Snowflake Bentley's photographs showing that each flake is unique so too are we unique. Each of us must listen for ourselves to the quietness and silence that proclaims Christ's message if we just stop in the midst of a blinding world to look and to listen.  15 years seems like 5 minutes in my life and yes I am selfish to wish that Dad was still here but I know that he is watching the snow fall, the horses run and his family from a much better place.  Sunday was a great day in my life, a day to remember the simplicity of listening for the quietness and all that God promises because I know someday I will see my Dad again!  I love you Dad!

One of the Richest Men I have Ever Met!

Last night Juli and I had the opportunity to attend a "Celtic Christmas" with the Sky Family.  While I loved the music and Irish dance it was the testimony of a family totally dedicated to their faith in Christ that was simply overwhelming.  Each of the three boys and Tom's daughter are part of the ministry and it doesn't take very long to see their deep and passionate devotion to their faith!

As I left I said to the dad, Tom, "it's nice to meet one of the richest men on earth" he stopped and looked at me then knew that I was talking about the blessing of having your children know Christ in a real and powerful way!  I envy the peace and joy that must come from having the assurance that your family will one day be together in heaven.  I can only pray that my three sons follow the same path!

Preparing for the Storm

About this time every year I remember that it is time to get the snow plow on the truck and as always, I seem to have waited to the very last minute. Partially because it is something I dread doing, but mostly because it is difficult and I always forget just how things go (especially the older I get). Every year I tell myself “next year I’ll write down the instructions” and I’ll review them before I make the trip up to the barn.  Typically, my motivation comes just before a big winter storm is scheduled to arrive.

For most the issue of snow is just an inconvenience, which can still be shoveled in the event a snow blower or plow breaks down.  At our house it’s a necessity!  With an eighth of mile long driveway and a 13% grade it’s the difference between driving up, or walking up.  It’s not like I don’t know I live in Vermont and snow is a surprise, …it isn’t and once that reality sets in I get panicked!  It seems to me that the smart thing to do would be to first have a plan, second have a reference to consult if I get lost trying to figure out all the hoses and connections and finally to choose “being prepared” and not  "being panicked"!

I think the Christian life is a lot like preparing for a Vermont winter; only the next “storm” in our life could be just days or even hours away.  After all we know where we live, …”in the midst of a troubled and sinful world and we are not immune from it’s pains”.  Our ability to conquer life’s challenges are directly tied to "our proximity to God".  Our  “reference book” is the bible and reading it on a daily basis keeps us up to date on how to prepare and how to conquer storms.  Having a daily devotional time with prayer reminds us that we are not alone and the strength that we draw from our Lord is sufficient for even the greatest of storms.

Is it any wonder why so many Christians are devastated when something really bad happens?  The death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a diagnosis of cancer or a troubled son or daughter can stop us in our tracks, panicked because we are caught off guard and unprepared.  At times like these Satan has the greatest opportunity to cast us into doubt about and our faith if we don’t know exactly how to hook up the awesome power of Jesus Christ.  For me, it is a necessity to stay in close relationship to my Lord, because I know the "peace and joy of riding on the wings of my faith",  it is far better than struggling in the  "uncertainty and self-doubt" that comes when you unprepared and out of relationship!  I've traveled down both roads and it is only by God's grace that he saved me from myself!

The Real Heroes of Life

2009 has been a year of incredible pain and suffering for millions of people across our planet.  From natural catastrophes to man made disasters the world has experienced the worst that life has to offer and many have simply given up.  Self doubt, self pity and self-loathing have rained down across our nation leaving a wide path of depression and personal destruction.

Homes have been washed away, not only by nature’s storms but also by the waves of greed and irresponsibility, careers drowned, IRA’s dried up, an economy in crisis and any sense of hope almost extinguished.  Is it any wonder that this year more than any in the recent past that I can remember, we have become obsessed with Heroes?

For years public opinion polls have told us that some of our biggest heroes today, are “athletes”, …over paid, over worshiped and sometimes morally bankrupt athletes.   These heroes who have been placed on the pedestals of worship in our society have been crashing down at alarming rates from steroids, gambling, sexual obsessions and a total failure and disregard to honor the scared vows of marriage.  Is it any wonder when a golfer that has more money than 1,000 average families would ever need in a lifetime and a gorgeous wife and family,  self-destructs on national TV?  Life is more than success and money, it’s about demonstrating and living with character, meaning and purpose and it is from this group that I choose to find my heroes!

I am not discounting the heroic efforts of Capt. Sulley, Capt. Richard Phillips or Susan Boyle who all captured the world’s imagination this year.  I actually had the chance to speak with Capt. Phillips wife Andrea, last week on the phone, and I told her how proud we were of Richard because at the moment when ordinary men are asked to do something “heroic” he stepped up so un-selfishly, to the plate and became a hero!

One of my favorite books is West with the Night by Beryl Markham a 20^th century aviator in Africa.  It is well worth reading, she was simply an amazing, strong and courageous woman (something I know a little bit about being married to Juli).  My favorite quote in the book is “the greatness of a man isn’t measured in one fell swoop of greatness but rather by the daily entry in the ledger of his life”.

In the last year, and in fact in the last couple of days I have had the opportunity to recognize some un-noticed heroes that have crossed my path;

The first I stumbled across reading her blog, it is a woman I know, who in the last year lost her brother in a tragic accident and then her husband walked out on her leaving her with three small children.  I had the privilege to read her private thoughts about the “chaos of her life”, what amazed me first was the unbridled love and dedication she has for her children, secondly there was a total lack of bitterness towards those that had so severely and personally devastated her life.  I know her just in passing, but I realize that she represents thousands of other Moms who are left at the helm to fend for themselves and their children through no fault of their own. While I’m sure that there is fear, trepidation, and self doubt these courageous women somehow reach down deep and find the stuff that “true heroes” are made of and accept all the responsibilities that have been cast on them.  One doesn’t have to look to far to find one of these heroes; they are in every community dealing with life one chaotic moment at a time. They offer each of us the opportunity to fill the ledgers of our lives with “kindness and love” by taking in just one of these Moms into our life.

The second example is a couple from my church, Mario and Sheri Ross.  Each and every Sunday for more years than I can remember they have been the greeters at our church and to many visitors they are the first sign that there is something different about our congregation.  Each Sunday the “ledgers” of their lives show their humble desire to serve our Lord by doling out their love and warmth.  I can’t remember a Sunday where I didn’t receive a hug by both and I’m told that Mario has a secret bag of candy that he hands out (I have never been offered any candy, I guess Mario loves me enough not to want me to break the diet I should be on).  I can’t tell you how much the love I feel from them means to me, especially when I walk in with the weight of the world in my back pocket.  If a church is truly a hospital, a place where healing takes place then these are two of the best doctors I know.

The final example is one of my best friends.  For years he has always been the type of person who truly cared about the events in your life, typically because he cared enough to notice when others didn’t. He puts his friends first and himself a distant second. He is respectful, encouraging and thoughtful and almost never says a bad word about anyone even after he went through a very painful divorce he took a pass on bitterness because it would have robbed him from the precious energy needed to love his children even more during difficult times.  Two years ago, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and the chance that he would survive this long was less than 5%.  In truth, he has done far more than survive; he has lived with a passion and a positive attitude that is simply humbling.  In that time he has become “my personal hero” not only for the courageous way he has fought his cancer but also for his eternal optimism and generous spirit and his continued care about me!  Knowing him has made me a better person and it has allowed me an opportunity to grow in my faith.

I believe these heroes have been placed here to demonstrate to us that we all have the opportunity to follow in their footsteps!  I think the question we should ask ourselves each morning  is "how do I want today's entry in the ledger of my life to read" because what we write can mean the difference between offering the world hope or adding to it's despair"!

Recognizing Opportunities vs. Disasters

On Sunday I came home from church feeling at the top of the world.  I had enjoyed a tremendous service and experienced a real sense of God's majesty and power in my life.  For several hours I enjoyed the quietness of my home,  my wife and sons had gone skiing and hadn't yet returned.  It was amazing so many wonderful things have been happening in the midst of the violent storms that had attacked my life so recently.  Having a great Sunday and some personal time was just what I needed!

Then within minutes of my family's return my son's were embroiled in an argument. As they often are, a silly argument that demonstrated just how immature they could be.  Suddenly, my mountain top high had vanished in an instant, in the blink of an eye.  Soon my wife and I were also upset and my first reaction was "why God, why did you let such an amazing day get ruined" then it dawned on me he hadn't allowed my day to be ruined, I had,.. because "while I felt my faith, I just hadn't practiced my faith".  I stopped grabbed my sons and said "we love each other too much to do this to each other" what I had failed to see was that it was an opportunity not a disaster!  It was an opportunity to demonstrate God's love and power if I was only mature enough to see that my faith was sufficient and God was providing an opportunity for me to grow my faith by living it! 

I thought about all the negative things that had been happening in our lives, all of the turmoil both at home and at business.  It dawned on me that "all my whining" as why was all this crap was happening to me was exactly that, a bunch of crap! I realized that each of these self described disasters was really an opportunity, an opportunity to trust God and to live out my faith.

Life will always have challenges and as a believer I am not immune from them, but as a believer, I also have a personal choice to see them as opportunities and to trust God for the strength an patience to conquer them or continue to feel like I am a powerless victim of disasters!

I choose Opportunity!

Joy Tanks

Yesterday, I had the chance to do something different...I attended Church alone.  You see the snow has just started to fall in Vermont and there is almost a cult like following of those skiers and riders who want to be among the first (despite the fact that it is typically only one or two runs open and they are a mixture of powder and ice at best).  There is something special about sneaking some extra "joy" in your life, experiencing something you love before you are supposed to.  It's almost like a dire need to fill up those " joy tanks"  because you aren't quite sure when it will happen again.  Hitting the slopes even icy slopes, pre-season, is a very personal enjoyment.  Yes, you may be with family or friends but it is just you flying over the moguls, its just you making that perfect landing or cutting and turning at your personal best. 

What's that got to do with attending church alone? Well for me going alone turned out to be a "sense of unexpected joy" while I missed Juli and the boys I also found a sense of peace being able to concentrate so deeply in worship and praise.  There I was, amidst my spiritual family but also feeling alone with God, having my "one on one time" with him.  Kinda' like as a child when after you waited in line to see Santa it suddenly is your time to sit on his lap and the whole time your there nothing else in the world seems to exist or matter.  For me, I find a deep personal joy in my faith and the really neat thing is that I don't have to sneak away to fill my "joy tanks", and I am learning that I don't need to wait to Sunday mornings to be one on one with God.  My God doesn't have a pre-season he is available 24/7,... if I just stop and take a break from my hectic schedule and "be still and know that he is God!".

"Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, 

for great is the Holy One of Israel among you." Isaiah 12:6

Miracles!

The following is a letter I sent to two pastors who reached out and took a chance on restoring a friend to the pastorate.  God's grace is amazing and how he works in our lives is beyond our greatest imagination.


(Personal information has been deleted, the actual names are unimportant, I have used the name "Bob" fictitiously  it's the miracles that I would like to share!).


Dear Pastor XXXXXX and Pastor XXXX,

Here is what I already know about the both of you, who I have never met or spoken with before. 

             1.) You know the real deal when you see it!
             2.) You step out in faith as God commands! 
             3.) You believe to your core in the redemptive power
                  of our Lord Jesus Christ!
             4.) You have turned your lives over to Christ sufficiently*
                   that "his image" is reflected in your actions and deeds!

          * the dictionary defines sufficiently "as what is needed without being in excess
             " in other words we always have room to grow, but we have just enough to 
             get the job done!  There is a tension there that I find inspiring.


Isn't that what its all about for a believer? To grow so much in Christ that people (the world) see his image and not ours, in us?  To live with the love, power and hope of the cross?  To invest ourselves in the lives of his children?

You see I am Bob's brother!  Oh we may not have the same mother or dad but let me assure you he is indeed my brother, we have the same father and I am as proud of him today as I have always been, as the bible says "never ceasing".  Bob and I were on Campus life staff while I attended the youth ministries program at North Park Seminary, Bob and I counseled together on a bike trip down to Florida that I organized, Bob and I shared the most intimate parts of our souls to each other and I fell in love with the image of Christ that I saw in Bob.  Bob was one of the best men at my wedding and I have always had a heart for pastors!

You see I have a special insight into the life of a pastor as "PK's" often do.  My father passed away 15 years ago this January and in that time in his second career he served the Covenant as a pastor in Joliet, Il. and Antioch, Ca. for over 25 years.  Prior to that my father graduated from Trinity Seminary, just like Bob and he served in the XXXX as a pastor for over 20 years just like Bob, and he served as the president of the XXXX Church Ministerium for many years often dealing with the humanness of God's servants. Even more ironic the legendary pastor XXXXX of Bob's former church was a dear friend of my Dad's and I even once as a young boy climbed through a small window of his house when he locked himself out.

In 1997 when after Bob resigned for his church, I didn't get a call, you see I had moved to Vermont but occasionally traveled back to (city) on business.  As I often did,  I would make a surprise stop at Bob's church and offer to take him to lunch.  Well on this day after his resignation the surprise was on me and I was crushed!  Not that Bob had made a mistake but that I wasn't there to be a brother to him but somehow I tried as hard as I could to crawl through Bob's window when he was locked out!  I located Bob and tried desperately to have him meet with a  Pastor who was a Chaplin at XXXXX Hospital.  I remember sitting at this Chaplain's kitchen table in tears worried about my brother Bob.  I even contacted the President of the denomination with anger in my heart for the way Bob was being treated, like a "useless and dirty rag". When I spoke personally with the President, I invoked my father's name "Rev. Larry Larson would be ashamed of your actions my father would be on a plane for a face to face about Bob", my father never would give up on one of his fellow pastors!  Then a few years ago I spoke with Bob over the phone after he had moved to (city), at the end of that conversation I hung up the phone in great sadness and disappointment.  You see after speaking with Bob he had made it clear ministry was a thing of the past, that chapter of his life was over.  To hear that pained me to no end and to be honest it even attacked my faith because I was mad a God!

Recently, I have been dealing with a close friend who is dying of cancer.  I out of my weakness I had never witnessed to him, partly because he was at odds with trying to please a Catholic father who had never told him in his life that he loved him and his Pentecostal mother who was trying to "save" him.  I knew there was anger and baggage against Christianity so I kept my mouth shut and failed to give testimony to the hope of Jesus Christ.  Several weeks ago I became so convicted that I shared my darkest secrets, my human weaknesses with my friend and told him of the purpose and meaning that Christ had brought into my life.  He said it was one of the most moving e-mails he had ever received and the door was opened!  In the last week or two I sensed that time was drawing very near and I spoke with him on a Friday and said lets get together next week when I planned to try and find just the right words to break through the bitterness of his heart for the message of Christ. 

On Saturday morning while sitting in bed around 6:30 am I listened to a powerful sermon where the pastor talked about never having his own father tell him that he loved him.  I thought so much of my friend and his need to hear a message like this in the hopes that he would accept Christ before he dies.  Latter that day I received a text from my friend asking what we were doing on a Saturday night and if we wanted we could come over.  Keep in mind that Wednesdays are his Chemo days and he usually hibernates after his chemo typically not even speaking on the phone but preferring texting.  So Juli and I grabbed a pizza and headed over to his house.  When we got there his parents were just leaving and as we sat down with him he told Juli that his father had never told him that he loved him.  Juli looked at me and I said to him, " I have a great sermon you should listen to sometime that really would be meaningful to you".  I expected him to say that's nice send me the link but he didn't!  He said "can you pull it up on my laptop quickly?" (he was expecting another friend to stop by and he didn't want to have her here at the same time, 5 minutes into the sermon she texted that she couldn't come) Several minutes latter we were listening to the sermon, we laughed together (way to many times for a sermon) and we cried together and at the end he said "I'm going to invite my Mom and Dad over to listen to this". 

That night we spoke of his funeral and the tension between his loyalties between his Mom and his Dad.  My friend had the notion that to accept Christ he had to accept the "Catholic version" or the "Pentecostal version" I explained to him that Christ doesn't wear a "Yankee's or Red Sox's hats" and that you didn't have to be a fan of either to accept Christ.  I explained how accepting Christ was different than accepting a religion.  Way to quickly it was 5 minutes to 11 and we had a 14 year old son to pick up at 11pm almost a half hour away.  I looked at my friend and asked "can I pray before we go" he said yes and he bowed his head and I gave thanks for the message that we had listened to and I asked God to give peace and comfort to him.

As we drove to pick up our son I said to my wife, who would ever think that God would convict me to play a part to help open the door to my friend's heart when I didn't feel that I had the right words to say! Who would ever think that at 6:30 that morning I'd listen to a sermon by a brother who I thought was no longer even in the ministry.  A sermon that not only demonstrates the message of the cross but so vividly proves the life changing and redemptive power of Jesus Christ! At 6:30 in the morning I had no idea of what Bob was up to or where he was at, but Christ knew and he knew that I didn't have the words but Bob did. What I had done is I had stepped out in Faith despite my fears and Christ used the words of a lost brother who had been found and restored miles away to climb through the window of my dying friend's heart and for that I Praise God!

So you see XXX and XXXXX I am eternally grateful for the difference you have made in Bob's life, for the faith you placed in him and your belief in the redemptive powers of our Lord because it is making a difference!!!

I'm not sure that you get it, your faith and actions moved mountains of despair and guilt and restored my brother and my brother's word's bailed me out when I failed to trust God.  Did you ever think when you put Bob on your staff that his preaching would minister to someone dying of cancer in Vermont and serve to teach me such a valuable lesson?

XXXXX and XXXX I can't begin to thank you for the role that you have played in Bob's life and for the faith you placed in him when you placed him on your staff!  However, I know one thing, my father is rejoicing in heaven along with everyone else.  You see like both of you my father never saw a dirty rag, never, ....he only saw the dirt that was hiding the treasure within that need to be washed away!  My father always said if the door to someone's heart seems locked, try an open window!  I never quite understood the full impact of that till now!

Praise be to God!

Rand "Lars" Larson

Embarassement and Fear!

Almost everyone at one time or another has been caught in the spot light of a social embarrassment. Maybe it's a slip of the tongue at an important event or a "fashion disaster", an old pair of pants that you hadn't worn in years and suddenly in the middle of an important business function your are reminded why,...the 3" tear in the seat of your pants that has been noticed by a caring friend! At times like these we can only think one thought "please God don't let anyone else find out and don't let anyone else see".

As a Believer I go through similar periods of "fear", the fear that those I care about and respect will find out the truth, that I have sinned and fallen so short. The fear that in the midst of my life my past will come flying forward like a "You Tube video" for everyone to see. The fact is that sometimes it is the hardest to live as a Believer to those that know us the best because we are afraid that they will pull out their ruler and mental pictures of our past and inform us of exactly just how far we have fallen short.

For years I have had a friend who has lived with the a father who is a devout Catholic and a mother who is a Pentecostal Christian always feeling like if he sided with one he would turn his back on the other or at least that was my perception. Over the years I had sensed a bit of hostility about the entire subject, so I never, ever entered into that discussion. In addition, he knew my strengths and weaknesses and I was always fearful that if I shared my faith he would say "you, but you did this and you thought this" so I kept quiet. Your right I had put my God in a box, a very small box!

Just over two years ago my friend developed cancer, terminal cancer and recently it has been weighing heavy on my heart that I had missed so many opportunities to share my faith with him, to give him a chance for peace and a love that is unequaled by any human. To get him the invitation to the party reserved for him in heaven if he would only choose to believe. I wrote him an e-mail from the depths of my heart revealing all that was so secret to me and how God had redeemed me and loved me in spite of who I had been. I told my friend who has been so courageous how much my friendship with him had changed me for the better, for the example of love and respect that he practices on a daily basis. He is one of the kindest and most un-selfish people I have ever had the privileged to know. He responded in kind, no ruler, no instant replay of my failures just love and admiration for our friendship and an opportunity to share more.

Last night he invited Juli and me over and we had a chance to share, to talk about life and death, to laugh together and to cry but most importantly to pray together (we also shared a sermon "Creating a Life of Love" but that is a separate story) . The past few months have taught me so many important lessons but none more important than to understand that we have a new life in Christ and that the only failure we need to worry about is the failure to share the hope and promise that lies with in us. God's grace is sufficient for all of our needs and if we truly believe then we must be ready to share the message of the cross. Not only with those that randomly cross our paths but with those that know us the best that we live side by side with on a daily basis! To me that is the best test of faith, can you live it and share it with those that know you the best?

It's only a start, but I can see God at work in my friend's life and I pray that he comes to peace with "who God is" and what he offers us through the message of the cross!  Once again I have been humbled by how God works in our lives and how he challenges us to grow.

My Story "A Walk Through the Valley"

A Personal Note,

On Nov. 20th, 2006 my 14 year-old son, Eric was in Florida with his best friend Sam Cohn from Richmond visiting a friend that had moved to Florida. The last night after a couple of great days, Sam was hit by a car the following day Sam died. Eric had been eating some candy out of a bag when he looked up and saw Sam being hit. He called me that night said "Dad Sam's going to die, I wish it was me". I can't tell you how deep the valley has been that we have traveled through. (see in 2007 blog archive an article "Gone with Sam" I wrote for the Richmond Times Ink)

Sam Mariano Cohn 1992-2006

A Sam stone placed high in the French Alps
http://samstones.org

The following January I was working to bring Child Sexual Prevention to Vermont after a Judge gave a child rapist 2 months in prison. I set up a meeting between the Gov. and Lt. Gov with Ken Wooden a national expert who runs a program to educate children on how to stay safe. That night after I appeared on Bill O'Reilly's TV show we held a public meeting http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,182306,00.html where Ken gave the course. After the meeting a lady came up to me and said when you were talking about why you were involved you said because you had three sisters and it had touched your family, the lady (now a friend) looked me straight in the eye and said "you didn't fool me because I am also a survivor... tonight you were talking about yourself". She was right, I was horrified because when I was between 4 and 6 years old a female babysitter abused me, something I had never told anyone, and something I certainly had never dealt with! Coming on top of Sam's death I "crashed" it was something I had denied and hid for over 40 years and now it was a secret no more!

Today, while we are still seeing the tragic effects of Sam's death on our son Eric, we thank God for the healing that has taken place and we pray and trust that it continues. Personally, I have been able to heal through the grace of God and a loving and awesome wife! I still remain active in the prevention of child sexual abuse and have put away my anger towards God for what happened so long ago.

 Eric July 2009 Wilderness Program in Utah Desert

Mom and Dad Attending Eric's Wilderness Graduation 

My writings here are a testament to the healing power of Jesus Christ! At my lowest point God was there to carry me through and because of it, I am a more loving and caring person.

 Ryan in Hawaii Family Reunion 12/25/2008

Reid (1) New Short Hair (2) In  Hawaii (3) At University in Heidelberg- Halloween 

There is no doubt in my mind of the awesome power of Christ.  I thank him for a wife that is truly unbelievable, someone I don't deserve but God has blessed me with! I Praise him for 3 wonderful sons, our "3 Kings", Reid (20), Eric (17) and Ryan (14) and for the love and support of my church family from Essex Alliance Church!

Rand and Juli in Sardinia, Italy

Richmond Times Ink, 1/2007 "Gone With Sam"

“Gone with Sam”

by Rand Larson

Eric had been counting down the days to November 15 on his bedroom calendar.  Each day prior had a huge emphatic X on it till Wednesday where it simply said “Gone with Sam", to Parker’s.  You see it was more than just a trip to Florida, it was about the friendship of three very special friends and going “with” Sam was part of the magic. Parker and his family had moved to Florida almost two years ago after growing up in Huntington and going to school in Richmond.  Parker’s parents understood that the boys had a friendship that defied any distance and that the miles just seemed to make it stronger. Each year during the Thanksgiving break Parker’s parents opened their home to his friends from Vermont so that their friendship could continue.  There was an unwritten code of loyalty between the boys that was as solid as any bond forged between friends.

In many ways Eric and Sam were both a lot alike, both the middle brothers in a family of three sons.  Eric and Sam shared a smile that could melt parents, teachers and especially teenage girls’ hearts.  They loved snowboarding, girls and music. Sam had played his guitar for a group of their friends at our home just days ago, his guitar now stands in silence in Eric’s room.  Sam and Eric were both free spirits ready to take on any challenge, they not only lived life, but they sincerely enjoyed it, as any teenage boy should. 

On Monday night, November 21, the night before they were to return home, at 10:35pm the phone rang. It was Eric, “Dad!  Sam’s been hit by a car”.  It was the type of call any father recognizes as a call for help, “Dad do something” and it quickly became obvious just how serious it was when he told me that Sam was rushed away by helicopter.  Less than an hour later Eric called again “Dad!  Sam’s going to die, I wish it was me!”  As a father I was devastated by the inability to do anything, feeling helpless so far away.  A few hours later I was on a flight to Tampa meeting Sam’s parents at the airport where words were totally useless, only hugs and tears could be shared.

Monday was the fifth day of a whirlwind Florida vacation with Parker and his family.  It was an exhausting day at Busch Gardens amusement park where the boys rode every ride and came home with stories full of laughter.  This is the image that I hope all will remember, Sam with a smile on his face doing what he loved, hanging out with his friends.  The accident may have taken his life but it could never take his spirit or rob the rest of us from remembering just how precious he was!

I arrived at the hospital and rushed to my son’s side, and it quickly became apparent that the boy I had sent had now become a man well before his time.  Eric was just a few feet behind Sam and witnessed the whole accident. When Eric rushed to Sam’s side he was almost struck by yet another car attempting to make the light, it could have easily been a double tragedy. I can imagine from the news stories that it wasn’t that much different than a 19-year old soldier in Iraq who watches a friend step on an IED, but this wasn’t a war zone and Eric is only 14.  Death isn’t something children should have to deal with and it pains me that there was nothing I could do to shield my son from it. 
      
Parker and his Dad had spent the night with Eric on the couch at the hospital while his mom Stacey stayed by Sam’s bedside.  Bill and Stacey were there, loving and caring for our sons as if they were their own.  Ever since the first phone call my heart was in grief trying to imagine the hell that John, Diane, Max and Gabe were going through. As the afternoon progressed we learned that Sam had been declared brain dead and that even in this time of unbelievable pain the Mariano-Cohns had decided to give to other children the gift of life by donating Sam’s organs.  A little after 4pm the Mariano-Cohns came to see us and over the next few minutes they delivered to our sons a gift that we as parents would never have asked for but so desperately wanted.  In the Cohn’s hour of grief and loss they reached out to our sons with love and concern worrying about the toll that the accident had taken on their hearts and minds understanding quite well how totally devastated the boys were.  

On Eric’s calendar on the 21st he wrote “the worst day of my life” and on the 22nd “R.I.P. Sam”. Later that afternoon they allowed the boys to go in and say good-bye to Sam and as difficult as it was it was also so very necessary.  It was the hardest day of my life to stand there and see the lifeless body of a boy who had been so full of life.  I can only imagine as a parent what the Cohns were going through.
 
It was a gesture of tremendous love that only they could give. I am now, and will forever be in their debt for these words of love and care that could make the difference in the lives of Parker and Eric.  It wasn’t by chance that Sam had such a profound effect on others, it was by the design of two very loving and special people, John and Diane.  I want the entire community to know that in their darkest moment the character that they revealed was truly a model for all of us.  No amount of words could say how sorry Juli and I are for the loss of their son, it defies all reason and we pray that somehow they will find peace and healing for their family.  I know the community and our sons are better for knowing and loving Sam.  Juli and I are also overwhelmed by the love and support that those in the community have shown for our family, we will never ever be able to tell you how much it has meant to our family in this time of challenge and question.  We also want to thank Parker and his parents, Bill and Stacey for being there when we couldn’t and we appreciate so deeply the love and care that they provided for Sam and Eric and for the incredible week that they had together.

On Thanksgiving afternoon Eric and I fell asleep together on our bed and after a couple of hours Eric awoke and said; “Dad Sam was good at everything, he was a great lacrosse player, an awesome snowboarder and on the beach in Florida he did a flip and landed on his feet, …I’ll bet he’s snowboarding today in heaven!
 
There is no doubt that the world is a better place because Sam was here to inspire us, may we honor Sam by remembering the lessons he taught us.

Peace be to the memory of Samuel Mariano Cohn!

Faith Endures Through a Tragic Loss (Click on Article to Enlarge, 2 Pages)

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