“Gone with Sam”
by Rand Larson
Eric had been counting down the days to November 15 on his bedroom calendar. Each day prior had a huge emphatic X on it till Wednesday where it simply said “Gone with Sam", to Parker’s. You see it was more than just a trip to Florida, it was about the friendship of three very special friends and going “with” Sam was part of the magic. Parker and his family had moved to Florida almost two years ago after growing up in Huntington and going to school in Richmond. Parker’s parents understood that the boys had a friendship that defied any distance and that the miles just seemed to make it stronger. Each year during the Thanksgiving break Parker’s parents opened their home to his friends from Vermont so that their friendship could continue. There was an unwritten code of loyalty between the boys that was as solid as any bond forged between friends.
In many ways Eric and Sam were both a lot alike, both the middle brothers in a family of three sons. Eric and Sam shared a smile that could melt parents, teachers and especially teenage girls’ hearts. They loved snowboarding, girls and music. Sam had played his guitar for a group of their friends at our home just days ago, his guitar now stands in silence in Eric’s room. Sam and Eric were both free spirits ready to take on any challenge, they not only lived life, but they sincerely enjoyed it, as any teenage boy should.
On Monday night, November 21, the night before they were to return home, at 10:35pm the phone rang. It was Eric, “Dad! Sam’s been hit by a car”. It was the type of call any father recognizes as a call for help, “Dad do something” and it quickly became obvious just how serious it was when he told me that Sam was rushed away by helicopter. Less than an hour later Eric called again “Dad! Sam’s going to die, I wish it was me!” As a father I was devastated by the inability to do anything, feeling helpless so far away. A few hours later I was on a flight to Tampa meeting Sam’s parents at the airport where words were totally useless, only hugs and tears could be shared.
Monday was the fifth day of a whirlwind Florida vacation with Parker and his family. It was an exhausting day at Busch Gardens amusement park where the boys rode every ride and came home with stories full of laughter. This is the image that I hope all will remember, Sam with a smile on his face doing what he loved, hanging out with his friends. The accident may have taken his life but it could never take his spirit or rob the rest of us from remembering just how precious he was!
I arrived at the hospital and rushed to my son’s side, and it quickly became apparent that the boy I had sent had now become a man well before his time. Eric was just a few feet behind Sam and witnessed the whole accident. When Eric rushed to Sam’s side he was almost struck by yet another car attempting to make the light, it could have easily been a double tragedy. I can imagine from the news stories that it wasn’t that much different than a 19-year old soldier in Iraq who watches a friend step on an IED, but this wasn’t a war zone and Eric is only 14. Death isn’t something children should have to deal with and it pains me that there was nothing I could do to shield my son from it.
Parker and his Dad had spent the night with Eric on the couch at the hospital while his mom Stacey stayed by Sam’s bedside. Bill and Stacey were there, loving and caring for our sons as if they were their own. Ever since the first phone call my heart was in grief trying to imagine the hell that John, Diane, Max and Gabe were going through. As the afternoon progressed we learned that Sam had been declared brain dead and that even in this time of unbelievable pain the Mariano-Cohns had decided to give to other children the gift of life by donating Sam’s organs. A little after 4pm the Mariano-Cohns came to see us and over the next few minutes they delivered to our sons a gift that we as parents would never have asked for but so desperately wanted. In the Cohn’s hour of grief and loss they reached out to our sons with love and concern worrying about the toll that the accident had taken on their hearts and minds understanding quite well how totally devastated the boys were.
On Eric’s calendar on the 21st he wrote “the worst day of my life” and on the 22nd “R.I.P. Sam”. Later that afternoon they allowed the boys to go in and say good-bye to Sam and as difficult as it was it was also so very necessary. It was the hardest day of my life to stand there and see the lifeless body of a boy who had been so full of life. I can only imagine as a parent what the Cohns were going through.
It was a gesture of tremendous love that only they could give. I am now, and will forever be in their debt for these words of love and care that could make the difference in the lives of Parker and Eric. It wasn’t by chance that Sam had such a profound effect on others, it was by the design of two very loving and special people, John and Diane. I want the entire community to know that in their darkest moment the character that they revealed was truly a model for all of us. No amount of words could say how sorry Juli and I are for the loss of their son, it defies all reason and we pray that somehow they will find peace and healing for their family. I know the community and our sons are better for knowing and loving Sam. Juli and I are also overwhelmed by the love and support that those in the community have shown for our family, we will never ever be able to tell you how much it has meant to our family in this time of challenge and question. We also want to thank Parker and his parents, Bill and Stacey for being there when we couldn’t and we appreciate so deeply the love and care that they provided for Sam and Eric and for the incredible week that they had together.
On Thanksgiving afternoon Eric and I fell asleep together on our bed and after a couple of hours Eric awoke and said; “Dad Sam was good at everything, he was a great lacrosse player, an awesome snowboarder and on the beach in Florida he did a flip and landed on his feet, …I’ll bet he’s snowboarding today in heaven!
There is no doubt that the world is a better place because Sam was here to inspire us, may we honor Sam by remembering the lessons he taught us.
Peace be to the memory of Samuel Mariano Cohn!
